The Schoolhouse Expo
Do you homeschool? Then, you won’t want to miss this!!
Registration is open for The Schoolhouse Expo! 3 days of online, homeschool encouragement. Susan Wise Bauer, Clay and Sally Clarkson, and more! Save $5 by registering now. Over $300 in free gifts when you register. Plus, check out the March Madness sale while you’re purchasing your ticket-items up to 80% off.
Visit: http://www.schoolhouseexpo.com today and register!
A Year of Family Worship: Scripture Memory
“Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.” Psalm 119:11
Family worship is a perfect time to work on Scripture Memory as a family. I remember the very first verse I ever committed to memory. It was Romans 6:23 and I was just 9 years old. It has stuck with me all these years. Teaching our children to commit God’s Word to their hearts is something powerful that will stay with them all the days of their lives.
Perhaps as a mom, you have never really committed very many Scripture verses to memory. That’s okay! It is never to late to start. When we have God’s Word hidden in our hearts, in a time of need we can pull up those words and they will comfort us and remind us of God’s faithfulness.
Here in America we are very blessed to have the right to worship God however and whenever we choose. We can purchase a Bible or even obtain one for free if we need. What would happen if there came a time when you could not access God’s Word? Would you remember what He said? Would your children?
As your read your Bible and come across verses that really speak to you, write them down in your family worship journal so that you can come back to them, one by one! Children are like sponges and they soak up God’s Word so much easier that we adults do! Use this precious time to instill the goodness of His Word in their hearts.
Here are some resources you may enjoy using:
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If you would like to take part in A Year of Family Worship, add your blog to the Mr. Linky below. If you don’t have a blog, you can add your comments in the comment section! You can read about A Year of Family Worship here. And you can see the 52 Weeks of Family Worship here.
Each Wednesday, we will add a new post for A Year of Family Worship and you can do the same. Share your goals, experiences, and ideas for family worship with the rest of us!
If you do not have a blog… you can either post your ideas here in the comments or even join our Proverbs 31 Sisters Network and get a free blog that way!
When you add your link below with the Mr.Linky… please add the link directly to your post on Family Worship – not to your main blog. This way, folks don’t have to go searching for the Family Worship post!
Overcoming Weary Mommy Syndrome
For many years I have struggled under my own expectations, or a list of what I “thought” I was to do to flourish as a wife, mother and homemaker in a way that would bring glory to God. This list of expectations included lots of ideals that on the outside seemed good, but had slowly become a heavy yoke for me as I tried to carry it.
This list includes being a perfectly submissive wife who loves and honors her husband, have loving and obedient children, keep a spotless home that is clutter free and well decorated, home schooling my children with the best curriculum, finding the best deals on our family needs, baking my own bread, juicing my own juice, feeding my family the most healthful foods, growing my own garden, canning my own food and the list goes on and on. While none of these are “bad” in and of themselves, the expectation of myself that I can do all these things and do them consistently and perfectly was causing me to feel weary and overwhelmed. I have never lived up to the expectation I had of myself of a perfect wife, mother, homemaker and woman of God. Rather, I often felt loaded down and was tired, stressed, discontent, and unpleasant. In fact, I was more often accomplishing the opposite of what I felt was noble and good, and reaping a harvest that was not fruitful for myself, my family, or those around me.
Many times I would start my day out asking the Lord to equip me and show me how to do it all. Many times I thought He didn’t hear me, because I would go through my days with my goals and to do list and I would end it with much of it being left unchecked. I was tired of being tired, and began to really cry out to God for help. It was during this time that He began to speak to my heart and reveal such wonderful and freeing truths to me.
Taking Every Thought Captive
The first area that God brought to my heart was that I was not taking every thought captive to Him; rather I was impulsively going about things that I thought were honorable. These good things were slowly crowding out and taking over the best things. The good things were causing me to try reach for a standard and create a lifestyle that I thought was noble, virtuous and holy. Notice the “I” in these statements! I was trying to do the things that I thought were good and forgetting to ask Him what He wanted me to be and do.
Many of these things that I thought of to do stemmed from comparing my life with others. This is such an easy trap to fall into. We see Sally grinding her own grain and baking her own bread, and we feel we don’t measure up unless we do it too. We see Jane decorating her home beautifully, and we look around at our home and see all the things we want to change. We then begin to create a standard based on others lives instead of God’s will for us. We then add these things to our list and begin to carry a much larger load then God intended. By taking our thoughts captive, we will bring all things before him and seek His guidance in our lives. Jesus did nothing apart from His Father, and we should learn from that example. He cares about all things, big and small! It is great to be inspired and motivated by others, but to feel condemned and inferior is a trick of the enemy used to tear us down and defeat us. I continue to struggle in this area, but have tried to make a more concerted effort to simply say “Lord, this is what I want to do. Would you have me do this?” Then I must make the effort to be still and not do anything until I hear from Him. That is the hardest part sometimes!
Seeking His Kingdom First
When Jesus tells to seek first His kingdom, He is warning us not to place value on things to the extent that we seek those things first and not Him, or that we concern ourselves so much with the basics that we overlook the important. I learned that I was often running ahead of the Lord, starting where He meant for me to end. I was placing value on things that He would take care of once I put my priorities in order. Instead of patiently seeking Him and waiting for Him to add where He saw fit, I began laboring and building a kingdom on my own. By seeking first His kingdom and focusing on the things that He guides me to do, it will create an overflow in my life that will result in achieving many of the honorable and noble things I was striving for. By stopping and asking “Will this matter in eternity?” I have been able to gain so much perspective in my life on what I should do instead of what I could do.
Truly Seeking His Glory
This is a difficult one! As much as my mouth would say I was seeking His glory, He showed me that I was doing many things for my own glory. I would say it was for Him, but if I was to be truthful with myself, much of my expectations were in pleasing others and gaining their approval instead of God’s. This was quite humbling to me. Why did I want a spotless and well decorated home? Why did I want obedient and loving children? Was it really for God’s glory? When I took a long hard look at my list of expectations, I had to admit that most of them were for myself and not for Him. I have since learned to allow God to search my heart daily: Is this for me, or for Him? When I get off track in an area, I can quickly repent and ask Him to create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me.
Simple, But Powerful
These things may sound rather simple, but for me they have been powerful truths. If I am living my day going about my own duties, concerned with list of things to accomplish, and seeking my own glory, I will eventually have a load that I cannot carry. I try to stop and ask myself “Am I building a life based on what I think I should be doing, or am I truly living a life that He has called me to live? Is the list I have assigned myself one that will bring glory to me or to Him? If you are burdened, weary or frustrated it may be that you are walking in your own strength and leaving God out of your best laid plans.
As I have journeyed through these truths, I am amazed at how free and content I feel. I am now purposing each day to take my thoughts captive to Him, seek first His kingdom, walking in His strength and not my own, and seeking the things that will truly give Him the glory He deserves. I pray that I build a life and home upon Him and not on my own meager efforts. My hearts desire is that I become so in tune to His calling on my life that I can be all He has called me to be. I know that as I walk out these things He will equip me each and everyday with meaningful, kingdom minded tasks that ultimately bring Him the glory He deserves. That is a to do list I am more than happy to complete!
L.O.V.E. Putting Your Love Styles to Work for You: Book Review
L.O.V.E. : Putting Your Love Style to Work for You by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott
I opened this book, turned to the first chapter and saw this quote:
“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
I am still laughing! Okay, so if you are married, you have probably realized by now that living with another person has its ups and downs. You both have those little quirks in your habits or personality that didn’t seem so glaring before the vows were said. So why do you behave the way you do? And why does he behave the way he does?
It has a lot to do with your personal LOVE style. Are you a Leader? An Optimist? A Validator? An Evaluator? I had a hard time deciding whether I am an Optimist or a Validator. I think I am a mixture of both. I married a Leader.
Wow! I have to say that as far as the personality descriptions – this book was right on! I loved the second part of the book best. It teaches you how to best LOVE your spouse with chapters titled “If You’re Married to a Leader,” “If You’re Married to an Optimist,” etc. This is a book you can read with your husband or just for yourself if your husband doesn’t like to read self-help books.
From the Back Cover:
The letters L.O.V.E. represent four personality dimensions that make up your personal ‘love style.’ Once you know your own love style and that of your spouse, you will be able to love him or her in a way that will help you get the love you need in return.
Relationship experts Drs. Les& Leslie Parrott stand on a mountain of research to show you how this single insight can draw you closer together. Never before have we had such an easy-to-use and scientifically proven tool for pinpointing each person’s approach to love. You’ll discover how much these dimensions inform your love style:
- L – Leader: The Take-Charge Spouse
- O – Optimist: The Encouraging Spouse
- V – Validator: The Devoted Spouse
- E – Evaluator: The Careful Spouse
The L.O.V.E. online assessment, in combination with this book, will show you how you are designed to approach everything from communication and conflict to sex and intimacy. This is not your typical marriage book. It’s a practical tool for learning how to express love to your spouse and feel truly loved in return.
I highly recommend this book to you married women out there. It will help you better understand your spouse. For more information you can visit the Parrotts website RealRelationships.com.
A Year of Family Worship: Getting Started
How do you get started with Family Worship if you have never done it before?
First, I would suggest you seek the Lord out and ask Him to direct your worship. After all, He is the One we are worshiping! We want it to be pleasing to Him, right?
Secondly, choose the best time of day. If you are able to have morning and evening worship – wonderful! I try, but there are days when it just doesn’t work. In our house, we have morning worship at the table after eating breakfast. This works out easiest for us. Evening worship in our house usually happens around 7 pm. If you are not able to do it twice a day, choose a time when the family is generally together – right before bed, before leaving for school, etc. Family Worship does not have to take very long 15 minutes is usually all you need to have a good experience. Of course, if you are enjoying yourselves and time is on your side, why not take as long as you like?
You will want to choose a good devotional book or a book with Bible stories suitable for the ages of your children. You may also want to purchase song books with fun worship songs. In our house we use a book that my husband used in church as a child back in the 1950’s. It is called Happy Songs for Girls and Boys. I was very lucky to find a big stack of these song books for free at a church school book giveaway. We also have a number of praise song books and of course a good number of fun songs right in our heads!
If you have a family member – including a child – who plays the piano or guitar or other instrument, encourage them to play for worship. I am especially partial to guitar music at worship time!!
In our house we like to start by singing songs, followed by story time, discussion, Scripture memory, and prayer. Give your children an opportunity to share prayer requests and then make a point to pray for them. You may want to keep a family prayer journal and record prayer request in black ink and answers to prayer in red ink!
Worshiping God together as a family will bring you closer together as a family and closer to God!
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If you would like to take part in A Year of Family Worship, add your blog to the Mr. Linky below. If you don’t have a blog, you can add your comments in the comment section! You can read about A Year of Family Worship here. And you can see the 52 Weeks of Family Worship here.
Each Wednesday, we will add a new post for A Year of Family Worship and you can do the same. Share your goals, experiences, and ideas for family worship with the rest of us!
If you do not have a blog… you can either post your ideas here in the comments or even join our Proverbs 31 Sisters Network and get a free blog that way!
When you add your link below with the Mr.Linky… please add the link directly to your post on Family Worship – not to your main blog. This way, folks don’t have to go searching for the Family Worship post!
The 3 P’s: Foundations of Frugality
Using the 3 P’s, has helped me stay within my budget.
I have found that thinking in a special way helps me save more money than the average person. I can sum up that
thinking in 3 simple words: Planning, Patience and Prayer.
- Planning: Whether it is what’s for dinner, what the kids will need to wear for the next season or what to give for Christmas, birthday’s, or mother’s day, it’s best to have a plan well in advance. This gives you time to give your best, and also to look for what you want at the best price.
- Patience: When you decide you want or need something, act like a grownup. Don’t buy it on the spot. Shop around, read reviews, ask questions. Being willing to wait will save you thousands over the course of a year. Pushy sales tactics create a sense of urgency and panic in the buyer. They want to make you feel if you don’t buy now, it will be gone forever. Walk away from those kinds of situations!
- Prayer: I serve a God who created the universe and it all belongs to Him. If my little boy needs shoes, it is a small thing for God to provide them for us. God doesn’t want us to fear or worry, but to trust Him. I can’t tell you how many times we have had a need, I have prayed about it, and found just the thing at a garage sale even though I don’t stop at them very often.
The stove we are using now is a great example of my using all 3 Ps. We knew our stove was old, and would need to be
replaced soon, so we built a small category in our monthly budget to save for it (Planning).
When our old stove caught fire and died, we didn’t have nearly enough money to buy a new one. Instead of running out and putting a stove on credit or using our beloved emergency fund, I decided to use other ways of cooking (hot pad, crock pot, microwave) until we could earn the money we needed (Patience).
I made it a matter of Prayer. After several months without a stove (and eating well just the same, though much more difficult on me) my mother found just the thing at a garage sale for $10! It looked practically new and worked beautifully. She called me and said “Do you want me to try to talk them down?” I answered back, “NO!” Just pay her the ten dollars and praise God with me.
Finding the Perfect Curriculum…
Even though our current school year is in full swing, I’m already planning ahead for next fall: curriculums, schedules, planners, start date, etc. I’ve also noticed the array of catalogs that are piling up in our mailbox each week from many different homeschool vendors. I LOVE browsing through the catalogs, seeking out that “perfect” curriculum. But you know what? I haven’t found the “perfect” curriculum and I probably never will. And that’s okay. Our family is unique and not every curriculum is going to work with how my children learn (or how I teach).
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the six years we’ve been homeschooling it’s that we’re not a static family. We are constantly changing and growing and adapting. Our interests change, our horizons broaden and we adapt to new circumstances, situations and learning ideas. What worked for us this year may not work for us next year and what we used last year may be something we want to try again in two years when my children are older. And, what works for my family may not work for yours. And that’s okay, too. The beautiful thing about homeschooling is the fluidness of it – like changing curriculums mid-year if the children are so frustrated that their eyes pop out of their heads at the mere mention of the subject.
So, as your family considers curriculums and schedules for next fall take it all in stride. Throw stress out the window and kick its partner, worry, to the curb. No matter what curriculum you choose or what schedule you plan, place it all in God’s hands. As the superintendent of our school (my hubby is the principal), God is in control. When we honor God in our school and place Him above all else, the rest just falls into place.
Q & A: Structuring the Day for a Toddler
Q: Melissa, Thanks so much for your reply. I haven’t tried a more structured routine because I fear I cannot keep being consistent with it. He does spend a lot of time alone during the day as I tend my 1 yr old(nursing, changing, (etc.) I have never considered him being alone causing his independence, but I can see where it would. I do not feel an adequate mother because at times I do raise my voice(yell) and get irritated when I am interrupted. I feel pulled in a million directions and often resent the time I have to spend with all the responsibilities I have. Any advice on a good routine for a 3 1/2 yr old, with a still nursing on occasion 1 yr old? Thanks!!!
A: Dear Mom, Toddlers can be very trying or very rewarding. I remember when my son who is just about to turn 19 was 3 1/2 years old and I had a newborn baby girl. At the time I was very young and despite my best efforts I just didn’t know how to handle him. I have learned a lot since then! It’s too bad that sometimes our firstborn children don’t get the best of us.
A lot of things can affect the behavior of your toddler. A calm child is more likely to come from a calm home and vice versa. Keep in mind here, that there are exceptions to the rule! But generally this is the case.
Your three year old knows that when you sit down to nurse the baby that you are distracted. He also knows when you are distracted with other tasks whether it is changing a diaper, cooking a meal, cleaning the house, or reading a book. Three year olds naturally want to take advantage of the situation! Not only that, but three year olds want your attention, so if he is occupying himself for large portions of the day he is going to be harder to handle.
I know how easy it is to want to “escape” from reality by sitting down with a book, computer, television, etc. – ignoring the little tyke as he pulls all of the books off the shelf or gets into the refrigerator. You just want peace and quiet!
I also know how easy it is to feel like a three year old is a needy little monster who is sucking the life out of you. So, when you are trying to get your TO DO LIST accomplished, interruptions are not pleasant. You just want to get your stuff done and get on with your life!
Let me tell you though – I have been there and now that my 18 going on 19 year old is practically grown, I really wish I had taken more time to sit on the floor with him and listened to him talk to me, play with me, interact with me. In other words I wish I had spent more time being “present.” I was there, but my mind was elsewhere.
Thankfully, by the time he was school age I had a wake up call because I realized how fast my children were growing up and I have spent the last dozen years or more “being present.”
Jesus has given us the honor of being a mom. Our first and foremost ministry is not to our friends, it’s not to our church, it’s not to ourselves – it is to our family – our husbands and children. This time passes by soooo quickly! I know it seems like forever when all you feel is frustration and sorrow. But this will pass and you will wonder where the years went!!
It’s okay to take a time out from time to time and read a book or soak in the tub. And it is okay to insist that the house be kept neat and tidy. It is even good for your kids to know that responsibilities are important. But don’t forget that being there for your kids, paying attention to what they are doing – even when you’d rather be somewhere else – is in the end going to make everyone happier. Including yourself.
I often hear (and witness) moms who complain about their toddlers creating havoc in the home everyday. The child makes huge messes, throws temper tantrums, insists on having his way all the time. But my question is always this – what is Mom doing when little Timmy is making that huge mess?
If you are in the kitchen cooking supper and little Timmy is in the living room pulling all of the tape out of the VCR tapes – the problem does not lie with the child, it lies with the mom. She has allowed her little mischievous child to be alone for 30 minutes while she prepares the meal (which is a worthy endeavor). Rather than allowing him unsupervised access to the living room (or any other part of the house) put up a gate and insist he stay in the kitchen with you while you cook. Then, give him activities to keep him busy.For instance:
- give him a drawer of pots or toy dishes he can play with
- feed him grapes or carrot stick while he waits for supper
- pull out a special coloring book reserved just for that same time each day
- let him tear up lettuce for the salad, stir the cornbread batter, or shake the “Shake and Bake”
If your toddler helps himself to the fridge every time you sit down to nurse the baby (or whatever), instead of letting him have free reign of the house, put up a gate and give him a box of blocks or other toy to play with. One of my favorite ideas is to make Activity Bags for your toddler. Get them out only when you nurse the baby or at the same time each day when you need to get a chore done.
So, my point is, toddlers are going to get into stuff, if for no other reason than to test your parenting skills! Don’t leave them unattended! The other issue with leaving your child alone to occupy himself is the fact that is causes your child to feel insecure and unsure of himself. He realizes that the boundaries are too wide and what he really wants is structure and solid boundaries to keep him safe. Having reasonable rules and limits to what is acceptable behavior gives children a feeling of being loved and cared for.
Oh, and another note – a lot of moms don’t wake up before their children. Instead, little Timmy has to come and wake mommy up and ask for something to eat. Don’t be that kind of mom.
Here is a good routine for a mom with a toddler and infant:
6:00 am – Wake up. Have devotions and prayer time – if baby is away, nurse her during this time. Prepare Breakfast.
7:00 am – Wake up toddler. Make beds. Get dressed. Eat Breakfast. Morning Worship – sing some fun songs, have a Bible story, and pray.
8:00 am – Chore Time for Mom – Tidy kitchen & sweep, tidy bathrooms & wipe down sinks, start load of laundry,10 minute de-clutter. During this time you can do one of two things with the little ones – put the gate up and let them play with toys. Or let them watch PBS. I know television as a baby sitter [sigh]. It works.
9:00 am - Play time.
10:30 am – Snack time.
11:30 am – Pick up toys. Prepare lunch.
12:00 pm – Eat lunch. Tidy Kitchen.
1:00 pm – Playtime with Mommy.
2:00 pm - Nap/ Quiet time. Afternoon chores for Mommy – fold & put away clothes, mop floors, tidy house, etc.
4:00 pm – Play Outside time in good weather. Or Play Inside during bad weather, in which case at 4:45 have children pick up toys. Don’t just tell your toddler to clean up his toys. Work beside him. Also, having toys well organized makes this much easier. Teach your child from an early age to only get one toy out at a time. HUGE timesaver!
5:00 pm – Prepare supper.
6:00 pm – Eat supper.
7:00 pm – Family Worship.
7:30 pm – Bath time. Story time.
8:00 pm – Bed time for kids. Let me say that bedtimes can be really difficult. I still remember the frustration of putting my first three children to bed – the crying, the spankings – it was horrible. I wised up with my fourth and fifth kids. I laid down and snuggled with them. Those memories are precious to me – the conversations we had! The hugs and kisses! The sweet, happy bedtimes! I wouldn’t trade it for the world!
9:00 pm – Tidy kitchen. Prepare for tomorrow.
Once you do a routine everyday, your child will begin to know what to expect and when. Eating at about the same time is really helpful and can prevent a lot of temper tantrums caused by low blood sugar (hunger)! Patience in dealing with your children is really key – a calm mommy is more likely to have a calm baby/ child. If you always respond with a tense/ angry voice why should you expect any different from your child?
Don’t not try to get into a good solid routine just because you afraid of failing. Never forget that tomorrow is a new day! God can give you the strength to be the best mom possible for your children. It isn’t easy. Raising kids just isn’t. But it is worth every bit of effort!
Free Printables
I always love it when I find new free printables for our homeschool. I came across this website – Sunflower Schoolhouse – today and there are lots of printables for everything from the Alphabet to Workboxes. I bet you find something you can use!
A Year of Family Worship: Church History
“O come, let us worship and bow down: let us kneel before the LORD our maker.” Psalm 95:6
For the last few days, we have been reading a book each morning for worship called Angels on Horseback and Other “Grandma Stories.” I found the book at a church school library giveaway last year. It is not a fancy book. In fact, the printing is very basic and the binding looks homemade – but the stories are wonderful!
They are full of our church history. I didn’t grow up learning about church history. I want my children to know about those people who changed the course of the world through their faithfulness to God!
Stories of great leaders – stories of their real lives – show our children that despite the odds and despite the struggles we can all lay down our lives for Him. These kind of stories show our children where they came from, the legacy of faith and the spirit of truth that has lived in men and women down through the ages.
That’s what family worship is for – to inspire our children (and ourselves) to live for Jesus everyday – at home and away. As mothers we have been commissioned first to be ministers to our families, our husbands and children. We are to care for them in a way that Jesus would care for them. We are to show them that true faith is demonstrated in a life of service to those around you.
Family worship strengthens our relationship with each other and gives us courage to face the day with determination to live a consecrated life, to live a holy life. It brings into focus why we worship our Savior and show us the purpose He has for each one of us.
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If you would like to take part in A Year of Family Worship, add your blog to the Mr. Linky below. If you don’t have a blog, you can add your comments in the comment section! You can read about A Year of Family Worship here. And you can see the 52 Weeks of Family Worship here.
Each Wednesday, we will add a new post for A Year of Family Worship and you can do the same. Share your goals, experiences, and ideas for family worship with the rest of us!
If you do not have a blog… you can either post your ideas here in the comments or even join our Proverbs 31 Sisters Network and get a free blog that way!
When you add your link below with the Mr.Linky… please add the link directly to your post on Family Worship – not to your main blog. This way, folks don’t have to go searching for the Family Worship post!
