When will my turn come?

A single woman’s perpetual question.

Last night I was having a conversation with Kenny, an old classmate of mine. He told me about a song which encourages women to be independent from men.    Kenny thought the lyrics to this song were words all women needed to live by.  In the song the artist said  there was nothing better than a woman that wants him but doesn’t need him.

I asked a question that challenged Kenny’s way of thinking. I told him, independence was the easy part. However, when a a woman is so used to doing things for herself, she doesn’t know how to allow her husband to be the leader. As  women we’ve all been taught to stand on our own, but not too many of us have been taught when to step back and let the man be the man.

After we finished our conversation, I shut off the computer popped in a DVD, and nestled into my couch.  I remained there for the rest of the night until retiring to bed.  I took a hard look at myself. My conversation with Kenny made me wonder, “Why am I still single”.  Being submissive is not something I oppose. I am loving, supportive, active, and a woman of my word, so why am I still alone?

The answer hit me before I could finish the thought. God wants me to himself right now.   He wants me to fall in love with Him and give Him every part of me before He releases me to a husband.  Like most single women, I desire to be married to the man that God has for me. Every time I see a baby, my heart melts. Every time I hear of a couple being married I want to know how they met, how they knew it was meant to be, and everything else that went along with their love story.  Psalm 37:3-5 says,

Trust in the LORD and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He will do it.

It’s because of this I know that God knows my desires and he’ll grant them as long as I continue to live a holy life and dwell in Him. I have to first submit and give my all to Him before He will give me the family I long for.  My mother and father have been married for 3o+ years and they were both awesome parents.  They taught me that marriage is a commitment and hard work. Although she never complained about it, I knew there were times that my mom had to sacrifice for her husband and children.  She couldn’t just focus on herself at that point in her life. We all depended on her.

As a single person no one depends on me. God wants my time so that I can focus on Him before becoming distracted with the joys of being a wife, mother, chef, nose wiper, tear dryer, and all around juggler.  It is a joy to be content with where God has me right now.  My time will come.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, I am not saddened by the lack of a physical companion. I will not go around popping balloons on the desks of other involved individuals.  I vow not to sob every time a bouquet of flowers is walked right past me and delivered to someone else.  Because I know that when I go home, I can lay out anywhere in my house and praise and thank God for being the most awesome companion ever. Instead of whining over one day of being treated special, I can thank Him for giving me life every day. I can thank Him for the love He shows me all the time.  I will thank Him for comforting me at night. Then I will thank Him for not having to wash the dishes, clothes, or cook if I’m just too tired to do so. Single life isn’t that bad I guess and God is good.